No Lord of Mine
The cell stank to hell and was damp, two things that Hilda loathed above all else. If there was a place she would have thought she would end up in, this would be the place. But, this is what she got for being friends with a man who’s ego rivaled the brightness of the sun. Resting against the bars, trying to will herself out of it if possible and mainly to not constantly think about the man in the cell across from her.
“Hilda…” the soundl of his voice is like nails on a chalkboard to her right now. “Hilllllda….” of course ignoring the fact that she was ignoring him. This man knew how to work a nerve and he was doing that just now with her. “Woman!”
“What?!” she snapped glaring at him from through the bars. “What the fuck do you want, Nick?”
“Geez, I was just going to ask if you were alright, but nevermind now,” huffing and as if she had offended him.
“I-...if I am alright?” completely baffled by his question. “Are you serious? Please tell me you’re joking?”
“I mean, you seem kind of upset so, being the good friend that I am I wanted to make sure you were alright,” going to sit beside the other man he shared a cell with. “But, then you go and snap at me so I am not sure I really care how you are doing.”
Grip in the bars white-knuckled, teeth grip as Hilda prayed to whatever God might give a fuck to grant her the ability to escape just so that she could rip his head clean from his body. “We are in jail, NICK!” she snapped. “All because you thought this con was going to work! Bedding the wife of an actual Lord is not how we get rich! It is how we end up on the chopping block in the morning!”
“Watch your tongue, woman!” the other man in the cell uncurled from the ball he had made of himself. “Our LOORRD! Is the most brilliant man we have ever seen! You cannot speak to him like that!”
“Pat, shut the fuck up!” Hilda snapped. “You keep boosting his ego with that whole gimp thing and that is why we are all here!” Finally, releasing the bars and stomping off to lay on the bench in her cell. “Both of you idiots are the reason my life is just always...a mess…” closing her eyes to try and sleep.
Earlier that day…
Their steps dragged a bit, the trio traveled worn and looking for a place to bed down for the night. The woman of the trio seemed to be particularly annoyed, though that was commonplace. Dealing with these two felt more like work than just enjoying a friendship. Even if they were some of her best friends, the woman’s life was often more of a pain than not when it came to them.
“All you had to do, was get the job done so that we could get paid,” starting back in on the lecture that she felt like she said everyday with them. “Just...do the work...that was it…” tone exasperated. “Why was that not done?”
“Well, there was a woman and she was hot,” Nick replied.
“And our Lord required some company!” Pat spoke up.
“He is not our LORD!” emphasizing the word.
“Technically, I am a Lord,” Nick chimed in, tone smug as usual.
“I will not acknowledge that,” Hilda professed, stopping to face the pair.
“But I am a Lord,” Nick continued.
“You won the title from a drunken bum,” crossing her arms annoyed they were even having this discussion.
“Yes, but technically I am a Lord. Whether you wish to acknowledge it or not does not take away from it.”
“M’Lord has a point,” Pat again chimed in and Hilda cut her eyes at him.
With a huff, she started walking again the two grinning as they “won” this match between her and them.
That Fateful Night
Running. She was running, yet again with Nick beside her clutching his clothing to his chest. Pat, who the fuck knew where he was, but right now there were guards chasing them through the manor that had just hired them.
“Was it worth it?! HONESTLY!” Asking Nick as they rounded a corner to get away.
“I mean...she was hot!” shrugging the pair hiding in the now in what they thought was an empty room.
“Hush!” wanting him to be quiet though it mattered not. A torch was lit behind them and the room was illuminated in the harsh light revealing the guards barracks.
“Oh...Hello!” Nick waved as he started to get dressed. “Could one of you gentlemen help us find the exit? We seem to be lost,” flashing his best smile. The confidence threw the men off who looked from one another back to the pair by the door. “I am Lord Nick, though you can just call me the Lord,” trying to keep them talking as he continued to dress. “Now, hurry on up and show us out, I have important business and my wench needs to get me bathed before my plans.”
“Yo-” starting to complain but catching herself, Hilda cast her eyes down to the ground prepared to play the role of the dutiful servant, when suddenly Pat burst out from the hall.
“Man, those guards are just a bunch of idiots,” not even seeming to notice anything. “Slow too, I ran them for fun for a bit just because I felt sorry for th-” and all at once he noticed and all at once they were fucked.
Back in the Cell…
“Hilda....” Nick called again.
“Have I ever let you down before?”
Silence followed, thinking back to each and every moment they were in trouble how he would get them out. It was just his thing, he might cause the trouble but he damn sure made sure they could get out of it.
“Then just relax and trust me.”
“Yeah! Trust the Lord! For he shall deliver us from this cell and to freedom!”
“Shut up Pat!” Hilda snapped and turned over to sleep.
Come morning, they were to be hanged, the trio led out to the gallows and Hilda felt oddly calm. Maybe it was that whole calm before death? Or, it was the complete look of confidence on Nick’s face. He had yet to let her down, so if there was ever a time to believe in him now would be that time. The rope still burned and stung her neck, the coarse fibber biting into her flesh. It was tight so she could not easily escape, though her hands tied behind her back would have prevented that anyway.
“Before we die, may I say some last words?” Nick asked and was granted. “Men and Women before me, know that I am guilty of my crimes,” there were some gasps and murmurs wondering why he would confess. “My crimes are that women find me fairly irresistible and I find myself aching for their sad little hearts when they are with men who was more animal and brutes,” the Lord who ordered this hanging jerked forward in his seat though one of his guards restrained him. “Being the charitable man that I am I just want them to have several long...amazing hours of pleasure that can hopefully get them through the next time they are forced beneath the beast they are so unfortunately tied to….”
A few of the women in the crowd started to fan themselves, a couple even fainting when he winked at them.
Hilda, was sorely tempted to just jump and end her suffering of having to listen to them sooner. However, Pat had been really quiet and she caught a very slight movement of his hands which made her wonder or hope something was about to happen.
To at least end her having to listen to anymore of Nick’s boasting. That is all she wanted right now.
“Now, while I would love to give each and everyone of you the affection and pleasure you deserve, I fear this is my end here,” again more of the women seemed to be wrapped around his fingers and Hilda wondered if he was using magic.
Suddenly, Pat’s hands were free and there was a loud, “YAWH!” the executioner was kicked from the stage and Pat had already freed Nick and was working on Hilda’s restraints. With them all free the crowd moved by Nick’s words helped keep the guards back as they rushed to some horses and escaped.
“You had no idea that was going to happen,” Hilda said to Nick once they were a safe distance away.
“Of course I did,” looking to Pat. “My gimp is always prepared.”
“In the name of the Lord, I am strong and unstoppable!” Pat’s voice was pitched all high like it usually was when he was the gimp. Then just like that he was back, “Honestly, they did a poor job of searching me so I kept my knife close,” the man shrugged.
Silence as she looked between the two, “He is still no Lord of Mine.”
“But you must admit that was pretty exciting? Huh?” Nick said as the trio fell into line together heading down the road. “So, where to next?”
“Another village where we can hopefully get work.” Hilda replied.
“And more women for our LORD!”